Beach Read review + Free Commentary on the abhorrent Rom-Com genre

Ahh rom-coms... My one-true-hate genre! You know you have found your one-true-hate genre when you read it just to complain about said genre later in the most incisive terms. 

Rom-coms can be classified easily into 3 categories.

1- Enemies to Lovers

2- Best friends to Lovers

3- Fake dating which turns into real dating

Or a mix and match of 1 and 2 or 1 and 3. Example, the Unhoneymooners

So the premise- January was always an eternal optimist, a dreamer, who views the world through Ultra-Rose tinted lenses. She writes popular  romances, her dream job. But when her illusion of a fairytale family is shattered after her fathers death, everything falls apart.

Next door is Gus, an eternal cynic, nihilist  and a general glass-is-half-empty guy. He writes Orwellian tragedies. And he’s also January’s college nemesis.

Definitely well matched neighbours. But both of them might actually have a few things in common. They both have crippling writers block, they’re both broke and have deadlines looming ahead of them. So to help break their unlucky streak and in the spirit of the whole college rivals thing- there is a bet. January will write a tragedy for once, and Gus will write a happy-ending. Whoever finishes their book first wins. But simply playing will open their eyes to a whole new world.

AghblechdwhKwehe. (Typing equivalent of a gag. Doctor? Girl choking on the literary equivalent of cinnamon toast crunch (which is sugary enough to blow your synapses.)

The plot was more abominable than I could ever describe, even with all the adjectives and expletives in the world.  So it was basically your average rom-com plot. The characters wandered around town, teaching the other about their respective genres and also confide in each other along the way. And then they get together, there’s a little drama before the end but it’s a happily ever after. Again.

I did sort of like the setting of this particular rom com. ( This admission causes me physical pain.) The whole author writing about another author thing is interesting. You can basically see the author’s own frustrations about her profession come to light, which is rather amusing. And it’s sort of nice to see how January and Gus’s novels evolve.

Ok, that’s it. (Clears throat, composes herself.)

The characters are obviously built to be a sort of duality, kind of a foil to each other. The sunny optimist and the stormy pessimist. And that is okay, I guess. All the characters in rom-coms are built to be likeable. I don’t normally get attached to any of them. I liked January and Gus a little more than average.

I liked January’s fizz, and her protectiveness of her world-view and her genre. It kind of makes her less saccharine. Gus was pretty cool too

Also did I mention how dull the names in rom-coms are? I mean, Gus? I wasn’t expecting a Caelena Sardothien, but seriously. 

Another thing about rom-coms that gets me is the writing. It’s all slang, every novel. There is no rich undertones, no unique beauty in it. It falls just flat and feels thin and watery. Rom-coms are seemingly written to be easy to read, in the way people think. This thing , so ineloquent, tepid but strangely bubbly, with easy cliches ever at reach, is so commercial and cheap. The humour is just juvenile. I have never found one that has made me laugh, ever.

I guess the popularity of rom-coms can be explained by humanity’s sad but true proclivity to like the tried and tested and formulaic.

I’ll give this a 3.5 measured as a rom-com, but probably a 1.5 measured as per my personal taste.